So idk what to think right now. Maybe I’m just freaking out over nothing but I’m having the gut feeling that my boyfriend is or has been sending text messages to some other girls. Or he is trying to rip out his “player card” and use it again.
Now there is that thing called woman’s intuition and that gut feeling just won’t go away. I don’t want to check his phone and I do not want to confront him about it because I could be wrong. Normally that gut feeling of mine isn’t wrong.
I asked to borrow his phone to call for hotels for this Disney Land trip we’re planning with his friends and he wasn’t quick to hand it over as usual, because he was over there texting someone but idk who it was. Now I know he was in the wrong just because he was sitting over there trying to delete the text messages that he sent and received so I wouldn’t see them! His boy had to hand me his own phone to use since my boyfriend couldn’t hand over his phone fast enough… got saved by the homie!! that’s cool and all but shit if he sitting there saying “I love you’s” to the girl right in front of you let the man get caught for doing something wrong so that you don’t have to worry about saving his ass when he know’s he should not be hiding anything!
Not a fan of secrets as u can tell. I know he and I (my boyfriend and I) are young right now and if this age is the case for him and he wants to go explore then damn go ahead and explore but i’m not gonna be here when you get back. I’m not here to baby sit you and I’m not here to be your mom. I love him as I had stated and gushed about before in my last post but If I don’t make you happy, and i don’t know what else to do to make you happy then please tell me what does…. If this other person is good enough to take your attention at 11 o’clock at night when I’m sitting right there in front of you.. damn go be with that person then. Don’t let me cock block because this heart of mine does not want to be broken.
If in fact you do end up hurting me, believe that I won’t want your help to put it back together because for all I know you’re not gonna be the person I would be able to depend on. The way I feel right now should never happen to a woman. She should never feel like there are any secrets between her and the one she loves. She should never feel like there is another woman that is taking her man. She should never feel like the one she loves does not love her the same way she loves him… It’s a really bad feeling to get your heart broken and that is not a feeling that anyone should go through.
I should just talk to him about it, but I’m pretty sure he’s going to end up on the defense trying to flip this whole thing on me. I’m not for the game just tell me the truth. You are so great at seeing when something was bothering me, but you could never see what was wrong because the wrong thing you saw was me.
I refuse to cry to sleep. I’m getting real tired of doing that.. my tears are getting real tired of you.
